In an unexpected twist to the evolutionary tale, a prehistoric fish known as Tiktaalik was reportedly turned away from its pioneering stroll onto land, not by natural predators, but by the imposition of existential risk management—a concept barely understood by its primitive neural circuitry. Eyewitness accounts, preserved in the sediments of time, suggest that Tiktaalik’s ambition to become a terrestrial creature was abruptly cut short after a bizarre confrontation involving a yet-unknown entity wielding a sign that read, “Go back, you’re increasing P(doom).”
This peculiar incident has baffled scholars for millennia, and with the recent discovery of a meme depicting the event, experts are now hypothesizing the existence of a time-traveling risk assessor, armed with knowledge of future calamities, tasked with maintaining the cosmic balance by ensuring P(doom) levels remained within safe parameters.
P(doom), a term commonly associated with the probability of world-ending scenarios, has been at the center of several scholarly debates in the fields of futurology and existential risk studies. It represents the statistical likelihood of events capable of causing human extinction or the collapse of civilization as we know it. The fact that this concept was seemingly understood millions of years ago by an entity concerned with Tiktaalik’s evolutionary leap is causing ripples of astonishment throughout the scientific community.
Researchers, while scratching their heads over the meme, are also intrigued by the implications of this intervention. “Could Tiktaalik’s transition to land have set off a chain reaction, amplifying the P(doom) beyond acceptable limits?” wonders Dr. Finley Evolove, a leading paleobiologist. “And if so, what dire consequences were narrowly averted by this act of temporal enforcement?”
As the meme circulates through academic circles, it has sparked a renewed interest in the study of existential risks, with scholars considering the notion that the past, present, and future may be more intertwined than ever previously imagined. Some theorists are even entertaining the idea that humanity’s existence might owe thanks to a vigilant time-traveling agency, working behind the scenes to keep our P(doom) in check.
For now, the Tiktaalik remains a symbol of evolutionary progress—one that was, according to this peculiar narrative, perhaps too progressive for its time.
