Mental Toughness: What One Student Learned from Meditating 15 Hours a Day for 6 Months Straight

This article is about this twitter thread:

Cory Muscara’s six months with Sayadaw U Pandita, one of the toughest Buddhist monks on the planet, was a life-changing experience. Muscara meditated 15 hours a day, sleeping only two to five hours a night, with no reading, writing, or speaking allowed. He endured tremendous pain and yet gained insight. Here is a look into the lessons he learned.

Muscara discovered that finding one’s true self is an act of love, while expressing it is an act of rebellion. He also saw a sign of growth as having both more tolerance for discomfort and less tolerance for “bullshit.” He learned that although who one is isn’t their fault, it is their responsibility. Procrastination, he discovered, is a refusal or inability to be with difficult emotions. Desires that arise from agitation are more aligned with one’s ego, while those from stillness are more aligned with one’s soul.

Muscara learned that the moment before letting go is often when one grips the hardest. One finds their ground not by looking for stability, but by relaxing into instability. He also discovered that what one hates most in others is usually what one hates most in themselves, and that the biggest life hack is to become one’s own best friend.

As Muscara became more comfortable in his own skin, he no longer needed the things he thought he needed to be happy. He also learned that if one doesn’t train their mind to appreciate what is good, they’ll continue to look for something better in the future, even when things are great. He saw that the belief that a future moment is more worth one’s presence than the one they are in is why they miss out on life.

Muscara also discovered that there is no set of conditions that leads to lasting happiness, and that lasting happiness comes from learning to flow with conditions. He saw that one should spend more time cultivating a mind that is not attached to material things than time spent accumulating them. He learned that sometimes one needs to get out of alignment with the rest of the world to get back into alignment with themselves, and that real confidence looks like humility.

Muscara found that a high pain tolerance is a double-edged sword, and that negative thoughts will not manifest a negative life, but unconscious negative thoughts will. To feel more joy, he found, one must open to their pain. He also observed that bullying oneself into enlightenment does not work, and that peak experiences are fun, but one always has to come back.

Meditation, Muscara discovered, is not about feeling good, but feeling what one is feeling with good awareness. He found that if one can watch their mind think, it means who they are is bigger than their thoughts. Practicing stillness is not about privileging stillness over movement, it’s about the capacity to be still amidst one’s impulses.

Muscara also realized that the issue is not that one gets distracted, but that they are so distracted by distractions they don’t even know they are distracted. He saw that life is always happening in just one moment and that’s all one is responsible for. He learned that one’s mind doesn’t wander, it moves toward what it finds most interesting, and that life continues whether one is paying attention to it or not.

Sayadaw U Pandita passed away in 2016, but he left a lasting impression on all his students, including Muscara. His teachings changed Muscara’s life in ways he can’t describe, and he is forever grateful.

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