Life is a journey, a complex and often confusing path that can be filled with both joys and hardships. It can be difficult to find peace and contentment in this world, especially when facing the realities of impermanence, lack of control, death, unsatisfactoriness, and separation. However, psychologist and author David Richo has identified these five givens as universal aspects of our existence, which can be used as a roadmap for personal growth and transformation.
Impermanence
One of the most fundamental givens of life is impermanence, the idea that everything is constantly changing and that nothing stays the same. This can be a difficult concept to accept, as we often hold onto the things and people we love and seek stability and security in our lives. However, as Richo notes, this constant change is what gives life its richness and diversity, and embracing it can help us to find peace and contentment.
No Control over External Events
Another of the givens is our lack of control over external events. We can plan and prepare as much as we want, but in the end, the world around us operates according to its own laws and patterns. This can be difficult to accept, especially when it seems like things are going wrong, but understanding that we have limited control can help us to be more accepting of the present moment and to trust the flow of life.
Inevitability of Death
Death is a natural part of life, and one that we often avoid thinking about. But according to Richo, accepting this given can help us to live more fully in the present moment, knowing that our time is limited. It can also help us to appreciate the people and things in our lives, and to make the most of each day.
Unsatisfactoriness of Life
No matter how hard we try, life is never going to be perfect. There will always be ups and downs, joys and hardships. As Richo notes, accepting this given can help us to find peace and contentment, by focusing on what we do have instead of what we don’t. It can also help us to be more compassionate and understanding towards others, as we all face this common challenge.
Separation from Others
Finally, Richo notes that we are all separate from each other, and that we each have our own experiences, thoughts, and feelings. While this can be a source of loneliness and isolation, understanding this given can also help us to appreciate the uniqueness and beauty of each person we encounter. It can also help us to form deeper, more meaningful relationships, as we learn to accept and appreciate our differences.
David Richo’s five givens are a powerful reminder of the universal aspects of life that we all face. By accepting and embracing these givens, we can find peace, contentment, and meaning in our lives, no matter what the world around us may bring. Whether we are facing the highs or lows of life, these five givens offer a roadmap for personal growth and transformation, helping us to find the light in the darkness and to live fully in the present moment.
Read more in Richo’s book The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them.
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