“You deserve to be loved and chosen — not almost loved, or almost chosen. … Have the courage to let go of the people who leave your heart confused. Let go of the people who make you feel like you are compromising all that you desire, and all that you hope for, and all of the goodness and the beauty that you know exists in this world, for a skinny version of love. … Let go of the fears you have that keep you holding on to something that hurts, something that is so heavy, something that has only left you feeling misunderstood, or unworthy, or at war with yourself. Let go of waiting for the people you have always treated kindly, to treat you kindly. Let go of waiting for the people you have always treated with respect, to treat you with respect. Let go of waiting for the people you have always chosen, to finally choose you. Let go of waiting. Let go of holding your breath, just hoping that things change.”
— Bianca Sparacino, A Gentle Reminder
Bianca Sparacino’s quote from A Gentle Reminder speaks to the heart of anyone who’s ever found themselves waiting around, hoping that someone—just anyone—will finally choose them fully. Not kind of, not sometimes, but actually and completely choose them. It’s a hauntingly beautiful reminder to stop settling for “almost love,” the half-hearted affection that leaves you feeling hollow and questioning your worth. Because, honestly, don’t we all deserve something better than that?
So many of us know what it’s like to hold on to relationships that are “almost.” We keep waiting for people to see our value, to show up for us, to love us the way we’ve shown love to them. It can feel like a slow, constant heartbreak—a hope that never really turns into happiness. Yet, as Sparacino says, it’s time to let go.
Why Do We Hold On?
Sometimes, holding on to these half-measures of love feels safer than being alone. We cling to “almost” relationships because of fear—fear of being alone, fear of never finding something better, fear of facing ourselves. We stick around, hoping that maybe if we change, or give it time, or make enough sacrifices, things will improve. But when we’re honest with ourselves, deep down we know the truth: if someone consistently leaves you feeling “unworthy, or misunderstood, or at war with yourself,” that’s not love. That’s emotional weight, and it’s holding you back.
Choosing to Let Go
Letting go isn’t easy; it’s actually terrifying. Letting go means confronting the idea that what we’re clinging to isn’t actually what we need or deserve. Sparacino reminds us that waiting for someone who only loves us halfway is not the path to happiness. Imagine being in a relationship where you’re not constantly wondering if you’re “enough,” not bending over backwards to get a little affection, or guessing where you stand. Real love doesn’t leave room for constant doubt.
So have the courage to let go of anyone who makes you feel like you’re “almost enough.” This isn’t about giving up on love—this is about making room for the love that you truly deserve, one that sees your worth and chooses you fully and wholeheartedly. You owe it to yourself to be loved completely, without hesitation.
Breathe Again, and Move Forward
Sparacino’s words are a powerful reminder that love isn’t supposed to feel like “holding your breath.” Love isn’t something we should be constantly reaching for, feeling just out of our grasp. You deserve to be chosen, valued, and cherished—not just sometimes, but always. Let go of those who leave you feeling stuck and misunderstood, and start choosing yourself instead.
It may feel risky, even lonely, but letting go of “almost” love creates space for something real, something fulfilling, something that doesn’t leave you questioning your worth. As you let go, take a deep breath, and remember: you are worthy of a love that is complete, steady, and ready to choose you every single day.
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